Giving Your Children the Freedom to Choose

IQ and EQ are essential, but independence is the key to success.

Every parent hopes their children can be successful. In modern society, IQ and EQ are popularized to help people measure intelligence and emotion. However, those quotients are not enough to decide one’s success.

There are some opinions which are outdated and should not be applied to modern society. An example is the proverb “Cá không ăn muối cá ươn. Con cãi cha mẹ trăm đường con hư,” which in English means that fish without salting will go rotten, children who disregard parental advice will inevitably go astray.

IQ, EQ and facts you need to know

IQ is the abbreviation of Intelligent Quotient. Through tests, a participant’s intelligence is measured. Emotional Quotient (EQ) is the score of your emotion. The ability to communicate, behave and sympathize are measured by this quotient. Each person is born with different EQ. However, through practice and by developing skills, this score can be changed and improved. For example, we can increase our EQ by communicating with friends or groups.

Even though these two scores are essential in our society, they are not the key to success.

IQ and EQ can not decide everything. The most essential factor is independence.

While IQ and EQ are essential, parents should care more about their children learning how to be independent. We all need failures to improve. If we don’t fail, we do not learn.

Parenting in Vietnamese culture, and Asian culture in general, usually overprotects children. High scores are expected and children are not permitted to go anywhere by themselves. There are many things that Vietnamese parents never dare to give their children to freely grow. Instead, they protect them too much. Remember that the most important factor is freedom of the mind. Asian people often want their children to do what they think is right. This limits the ability of the child to grow as a person.

There are some opinions that are outdated and should not be applied to modern society. An example is the proverb “Cá không ăn muối cá ươn. Con cãi cha mẹ trăm đường con hư” which in English means that fish without salting will go rotten, children who disregard parental advice will inevitably go astray. Nowadays, children need to debate with their parents and parents should allow them to do that. Instead of forbidding, parents should be happy that their kids have opinions and know how to present them. Society has changed a lot. We should not force our kids to do what we believe is right.

Free and independent thinking boosts human creativity. We can think and construct questions and make changes. For example, in the past people wondered if we could do all our business and entertainment on our phones. Our life needs those kinds of questions.

Parents’ mission is to support their children to pursue their dreams if they know what they are passionate about. If not, parents should expose more of the world to their children so they can realize what they love. Only when children don’t know what to do and where to go, should parents guide them. It is not necessary to be in any typical job, such as doctor, engineer or lawyer, to be successful. Give children the freedom to choose their passion, go out and fail, or work hard to realize the values in life. Parents should only be supporters.

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This content is also available in: Tiếng Việt